Blame It On Yourself: Secret to Becoming the Hero of Your Own Story

TL;DR: Blame yourself first, laugh second, and watch life bend to your whims like a confused yoga instructor. Namaste, agency warriors!

👆🏽If this doesn’t resonate with you, feel free to skip ahead and explore content that aligns more with your interests!

The Traffic Jam Epiphany

Imagine we’re late to work because of a traffic jam. We could rage at the universe, the city’s infrastructure, or the guy in front of us who’s clearly auditioning for Slow and Unsteady. But what if, instead, we shrugged and said, “I should’ve left earlier”? Congratulations, we’ve just stumbled upon internal agency, the art of owning our life like it’s a DIY project and we’ve got a glue gun and glitter.

What is Internal Agency?

Internal agency is the belief that WE are the MVP of our life’s game, not luck, not fate, not even that soul-crushing list of requirements and OKRs our boss loves. It’s realizing that while we can’t control the weather, we can control whether we dance in the rain or build an ark. Blaming ourself isn’t about self-flagellation, it’s about grabbing life’s remote and saying, “I’ve got this.”

But the Self-Blame Paradox

Yes, blaming ourself sounds as toxic as a pineapple pizza debate. But think of it as a GTA cheat code. Mess up? Reset. Adapt. Level up. Like the:

Toast burner’s redemption

Chef Carla burns the toast. Instead of blaming the possessed toaster, she laughs, “I should’ve set a timer!” Next day, she invents Crème Brûlée Toast crispy, caramelized, and accidentally genius.

The Gardener Who Fought the Weather

Dave’s garden floods every spring. Instead of shaking fists at clouds, he builds raised beds and grows watercress. Now he sells “artisanal swamp salads” to hipsters. Take that, Mother Fuc… Nature!

The Time-Traveler’s Grocery List

Imagine if we could time-travel. Forgot milk? Go back! But since we can’t (yet), blaming past-us means future-us writes better lists. Agency achieved!

Healthy vs Toxic Blame: Don’t be a Drama Llama 👀

There’s a fine line between “I’ll fix this” and “I’m a sentient piece of shit” Healthy self-blame is action-oriented; toxic blame is a Netflix binge of guilt.

• Healthy: “I overslept. I’ll buy a louder alarm clock, or hire a mexican band 😉”

• Toxic: “I overslept. I’m a failure. Might as well live in pajamas for rest of my life”

How do We Cultivate Internal Agency ?(Without Turning Into a Robot)

The “What’s My Role?” Game

Next time life goes sideways, we ask: “What could I have done differently?” No villains, no victims, just us and our problem-solving cape.

Reframing Our Inner Monologue

We swap “Why does this always happen to me?!” with “What can I learn from this… besides avoiding llamas?” (It’s Long story 👀)

Celebrate “Oops” Moments

Forgot a friend’s birthday? Own it, then send a “Belated Cake & Apology Tour” meme.

We are the Captain of our Sailboat (Even in a Hurricane)

Life’s fuckin messy. But when we stop blaming the wind and start adjusting the sails, you’ll find storms are just opportunities to invent better umbrellas.

Final Thoughts

The next time you’re tempted to blame the universe, remember, even Shakespeare’s characters had agency. Hamlet could’ve skipped the soliloquy and just… not kissed Yorick’s skull. Your move, baby 🌸

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It’s been nearly two years since I last shared my thoughts. I didn’t have much to say, and to be honest… I’ve just been lazy.

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